Author: Warren Berkley

Anger Without Sin

“Be angry and do not sin.”

(Eph. 4:26)

Anger is easy to start but sometimes hard to resolve without unnecessary conflict. Righteous anger is justified. Sin is never justified.

So here is a passage that offers permission, “Be angry,” but forbids sin, “do not sin.” It becomes a challenge to be so careful, so disciplined, so self-aware, that when we are upset, we gauge the expression of our anger so that it doesn’t lead to sin.

JUST KEEP READING. “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” I used to think this meant, set a timer for 12 hours and stop your anger when the timer goes off. No, that’s not it. This is not a “down to the last minute” legalistic and simplistic rule. This is a picture that holds simple meaning. Your anger must be temporary, not ongoing. When it starts, make certain you will stop it before sin enters in.

How is anger stopped?

(1) As soon as it starts, consider what caused it. Did someone simply disagree with you? Did someone actually offend you? Did someone walk away from? Did someone hurt someone you love? Is there some wise action you can take? Is there a conflict that can be peacefully resolved? These questions are introspective, causing you to pause and explore the cause, so as to monitor the time you devote to it. The time and energy should be in proportion to all the factors involved in the provocation or cause.

(2) Pray about the matter. It isn’t easy to pray and be angry at the same time. Prayer about the issue sincerely offered to God, asking for wisdom and strength can keep the anger contained in that temporary time frame. You can then move away from the anger to more productive thinking and living.

(3) Is your anger due to a matter of faith or a matter of opinion? This is critical in determining if you should even be upset. And if so, what steps you need to take, if any. If a matter of faith, that is a level that requires more than a matter of opinion. Read carefully the 14^th chapter of Romans, and make a prayerful determination. If someone disagreed with you 20  years ago over a matter of individual judgment, and you are still remembering and marinating in that – well, that’s an immature waste of time.

(4) Watch your front door! When there is anger in your “house,” the devil is at your front door. He wants to come in and lead you into sin, but “…give no opportunity to the devil.” Don’t let him turn that seed into an evil plant that devours you and hurts others.

There is no such thing as legitimate anger that justifies an illegitimate response!

“This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20).

Attitudes In Conflict, Part 4

The Good Fight

“I have fought the good fight”

(2 Tim. 4:7)

Let’s be willing to say this. Not all fighting is good. There is a lot of bad fighting going on in the world, even in the religious world, even in the church. We know that.

In Paul’s day there were useless controversies, aggressive false teaching, and dangerous episodes of persecuting and killing Christians. Paul was a soldier in the Lord’s Army. He was fighting the good fight, wearing the whole armor of God. And in that engagement he was clear: “… we do not wrestle against flesh and blood,” (Eph. 6:12). The war we are in isn’t with guns and grenades for our glory.

Related to that clarity, he said in another place: “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy stronghold. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete,” (2 Cor. 10:3-6).

Paul’s fight was not one of violence, physical punishment nor did he resort to anything deceitful or greedy, insulting or unrighteous. To Christians in Thessalonica he said, “we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children,” (see 1 Thess. 2:1-8). This doesn’t sound like an angry violent, intimidating and bloodthirsty warrior. Paul’s fight was good. He said to those Christians: “…just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts,” (1 Thess. 2:4). This was Paul’s good fight. He was not ashamed of the gospel, opposed to every form of evil and always ready to build Christians up in the faith.

In a valuable work, BOOK, CHAPTER & VERSE, by Floyd Thompson (compiled and published by his widow, Ruth) he was quoted on this subject as follows.

I have said many times that I think I have seen demonstrated in the lives of some people, that their idea of being sound in the faith was to be insulting and obnoxious. I don’t believe that. I think a person can be amiable, and at the same time not compromise an inch insofar as the teaching of God’s word is concerned. There is where the fight ought to be made. I just cannot imagine the apostle Paul getting up in the presence of any audience and feeling that he had to insult them to prove his soundness. Now, if his stating a truth brought the wrath of the whole crowd down upon him, he would have stated the truth, and then said, “Am I become your enemy because I tell you the truth?”

Paul said to Timothy, “Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses,” (1 Tim. 6:12).

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Where can we go, and say, “The war isn’t here?” Is there some place of absolute isolation from temptation? No. Not even “home, sweet home” or the place where saints assemble in Christ’s name! Regardless of how clever we are, how experienced, how educated, how wise in the Scriptures—we walk from one battleground to another all the time. This is our constant predicament.

So, let us look all around and rally to the point of attack (Nehemiah 4:15–20); let us walk circumspectly (Ephesians 5:15; 1 Peter 5:8). Remember that you can bear any temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13; James 4:7).

What great and good thing was ever done without conflict and the exertion of effort? Wheat doesn’t grow without planting and plowing; money is not earned without care, attention and labor. And heaven, above all, is not to be reached without the cross and the battle. ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS!^[1]

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^[1] Berkley, W. E. (1985). Fight: The Battleground. (D. Bowman, Ed.)Christianity Magazine, 2(8), 12.

Attitudes In Conflict, Part 3

“…Go and Tell Him…”

Warren E. Berkley

Jesus knew there would be the conflict of offenses. He said once, “temptations to sin are sure to come,” (Lk. 17:1). He also said, “…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother…,” (Matt. 5:23).

He not only knew this would happen, He gave specific direction for reconciliation: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others alone with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector,” (Matt. 18:15-17).

We may be tempted to assume that nobody ever follows this. We shouldn’t be so quick with that negative verdict. Is it conceivable that Christians have followed this godly resolution method, and IT WORKED? It never had to be brought “to the church,” because the conflict was resolved before that step. That’s a far better assumption.

If, however, this hasn’t been followed, offended parties should re-engage in compliance with the Lord’s teaching. Notice that this is about sin. We may disagree on matters of opinion or have various levels of different understanding of passages where no sin is involved. So this teaching isn’t for just anything we might label as a conflict. Notice the words: sin, fault, witnesses.

There are two keys to the application of this text. One is attitude. If we are hardened in our dislike of the alleged offender, that can keep us from making active and sincere application of the text. Two, if we do not have sufficient evidence and witnesses, that can and should create hesitation.

Otherwise, trust in the Lord’s wisdom should cause us to promptly do what He said to do – in the circumstance He described. What joy and hope that we don’t have to be stuck in long-term bitterness. If our hearts are centered in God, we will want to apply this passage, seeking the repentance of offenders, and protecting ourselves against the anxiety and stress of unresolved disputes.

“Go,” (Matt. 5:23-24). “Rebuke,” (Luke 17:3). “Forgive,” Luke 17:3,4). If necessary, “Withdraw,” (Matt. 18:17). But, do not let the sun go down on your wrath (Eph. 4:26,27).

And, as to the intended outcome, read this.

“My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins,” (Jas. 5:19-20).

Attitudes In Conflict, Part 2

“A soft answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

(Prov. 15:1)

Warren E. Berkley

One of my earliest memories of an oft quoted tidbit of wisdom was, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” Parents and teachers used the little rhyme to soothe and calm us when we were the objects of verbal bullying. 

Long after my childhood I encountered a retort: “The blow of a whip raises a welt, but a blow of the tongue crushes the bones,” (Sirach 28:17, RSV).

Which is it? Let’s take Prov. 15:1 as authentic: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Words can kill relationships (Jas. 3:1-12), discourage children (Col. 3:21), lead people into sin (Matt. 7:15), destroy neighbors (Prov. 11:9), spread conflict (Prov. 16:28), and utter blasphemy against God (Jas. 2:7).

So let’s recognize the value of “soft answers.” This isn’t just about volume, though volume is sometimes a strained function of anger. True. Yet, the “soft answer” of Prov. 15:1 is guarded, not insulting, attentive and with righteous aim. Jesus teaches us that “… each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks,” (Lk. 6:44,45). The “soft answer” is a response well-thought out, from a good heart. The “hard answer” would be impulsive, selfish and damaging. Perhaps more damaging than sticks or stones.

“A harsh word stirs up anger.” Before we speak, write or post on social media, internal discipline must clarify exactly what our aim is. A common problem is discovered when our responses and remarks are offered quickly. Discipline takes some time; discipline is well-thought out, not impulsive. James offered this simple wisdom, sometimes a challenge: “…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger,” (Jas. 1:19).  Lots of conflict is produced by being too quick to speak. Animosity can just roll off our tongues and into the hearts of those who have done nothing to deserve such invectives. Insults are generally not planned but acts of momentary agitation, hopefully followed by almost instant regret. Political debates quickly degenerate into name-calling, slurs and hyperboles.  Religious discussions between opposing parties sometimes become shouting matches where truth is secondary.

And sometimes the harshness is convey in how we say something. The words may be correct, but our countenance and tone may not be in harmony with our words and our intent. Beware of the haughty look (Psa. 101:5).

Anger, expressed in a tumultuous outburst or a hot retort, is not good for the transmitter nor the receiver, and it will cause a bad situation to become immediately worse. How sad that we have not learned this simple lesson. A tongue, out of control, is a terrible thing.^[1] – Dee Bowman

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^[1] Bowman, D. (1991). Front Lines: Hurt. Christianity Magazine, 8(10), 2.

Attitudes In Conflict, Part 1

“What Causes Quarrels And

What Causes Fights Among You?”

(James 4:1)

Warren E. Berkley

We are living in a time when animosity seems to be on the rise, and peace seems to be a victim of our cultural divide. While I believe that there are still many who seek peace and refuse to get entangled in vicious controversies, there can be little question that – especially through our various forms of media and digital communication – the volume has been turned up and the value down.

Expressions of disagreement now have a rapid and widespread forum for dialogues about politics, religion, health, education and almost any other subject. And these dialogues are sometimes carried on through a hostile and acrimonious manner that defeats any point the parties want to make. In short, the tide of the hostility often soaks up all the attention, leaving knowledge or healthy dialogue buried under the ugly surge.  This series of articles will rely on Scripture to re-focus our awareness on the transgressive aspect of popular debate.  

James provides an excellent starting place.

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He years jealously over the spirit that He has made to dwell in us?’ But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you. Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. the one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor.” (Jas. 4:1-11a)

External conflict always has a cause. If the cause is not identified with a remedial response, the temperature of the conflict continues to heat up. All animosity is produced by immature and wrong attitudes.

Conflict is not the result of some sort of mystical fate or “karma.” It cannot be explained away as simply chance, time, or personalities. External conflict (in person, written, online, public or private) always means, somebody has an attitude issue (often more than one). This is true on the international scale, within nations, communities, institutions, local churches, marriages, families and friendships.  About this, James is clear in the lead-in to chapter four: “For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing will be there,” (3:16; see also Mark 7:20-23).

What does this mean? When you find yourself in conflict with someone, examine your attitude before you call out your opponent’s attitude. Inquire: Am I thinking objectively and being clear. Beyond the details of your argument or accusation, take a full inventory of motives and methods. May we make certain we are “speaking the truth in love,” (Eph. 4:15).

Trouble and conflict are inevitable here on earth. Let’s just make sure it doesn’t come from us!

Philippians

(Warren E. Berkley)

Phil. 4:18-23

I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen. Greet every saint in Christ Jesus. The brothers who are with me greet you.  All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar’s household. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

It is noteworthy, in these final verses of Paul’s letter to Philippi, that the apostle was not a tedious accountant about his reception of generosity.

Some people are. We had that couple over for dinner, but they have never paid us back!

Or, I loaned him $100 when he was in need, but now he can’t loan me $50!

This is that tedious accounting mentality that keeps records about deeds both done and received, with expectation that everything must perfectly balance.

Contrary to this accounting mentality, the Lord said, “…do good and lend, expecting nothing in return,” (Lk. 6:25).

It is apparent, Paul was not burdened by the accounting mentality, and that he embraced the spirit of what Jesus taught.

“I have received full payment, and more.” Paul favored the people of Philippi by delivering the gospel of Christ to them (see Acts 16). Those who became Christians gave generously to Paul, in support of his evangelistic work (see verse 15). In this fellowship, Paul didn’t put a price on anything and he didn’t harbor an expectation of some perceived (carnal) perfect balance. Rather, he was satisfied and grateful. “I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God.”

In Paul’s heart, this was all good. Why? Because their fellowship was “pleasing to God.” Instead of expecting a perfect balance in their exchange with each other, if it was pleasing to God, Paul was happy.

Paul hoped and prayed for them that God would “supply every need” they had. This supplication was based on the riches in glory God provides in Jesus Christ. And this leads to Paul praise, “to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.”

Paul’s good will continued: “Greet every saint in Christ Jesus.” Brethren with Paul joined him in this: “The brothers who are with me greet you.” Other were included: “All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar’s household. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.”

Paul didn’t know how to press upon people the accounting mentality. Paul knew how to write a great “thank you” note!

Paul knew how to preach and write the truth of God. But his heart was not dry and academic or robotic. His deep, sincere emotional nature shines through in these final words to his Christian friends in Philippi. May we learn to nourish this spirit.

NOT ORIGINAL WITH ME — In a sermon or class, Greek and Hebrew are like underwear: they add a lot of support, but you don’t want to let them show.