Have Husbands Surrendered?

by Warren E. Berkley

BEGINNING WITH ADAM, the Bible puts into our hands a virtual gallery of husbands. Some of these husbands were good men, and their example serves as a positive and instructive influence. Other husbands surrendered, and the present plight of today’s homes suggests that there are husbands today who are following their path.

1. Have husbands surrendered to temptation like Adam in Genesis 3:6? The first step in being a good husband is to be a good man! Form a relationship with God first; make up your mind about temptation and sin. Unlike the example of Adam in his disobedience, resolve as David: “I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way, O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart” (Psalm 101:2).
2. Have husbands surrendered to intoxication like Nabal in 1 Samuel 25? Poor Abigail! She needed all the tact, charm, patience and resourcefulness a woman can possess. Her husband, Nabal, though a wealthy sheep owner, was “churlish and evil in his doings” (25:3). He was a mean man, given to heavy drinking, affording his wife little protection, love or the right kind of attention. “Wine is a mocker, intoxicating drink arouses brawling, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise” (Proverbs 20:1).
3. Have husbands surrendered to extramarital affairs, like David in 2 Samuel 11? Good husbands are always prepared to say “no” rather than surrender to adultery. Like the ancient Job, they have made a covenant with their eyes lest they look lustfully upon another woman (Job 31:1). Jesus teaches us to be loving, giving, moral, responsible, self-disciplined, honest and respectful. He also explicitly prohibited divorce and remarriage, except for sexual immorality. With these divine instructions, He provided an unshakable foundation for a stable and loving relationship between husband and wife. Marriage is a joint venture between two people, who have decided to live as one. (“If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you should try watering your own,” Temptations Men Face, Tom Eisenman, p. 95).
4. Have husbands surrendered to the domination of their wives, like Ahab in 1 Kings 21? Ahab was dominated by his baneful queen, Jezebel. He was overshadowed by the overbearing ways of his wife. Authority is the glue that holds human organizations together, whether in a government, military, school, church, business or home. Ahab surrendered to the iron-fisted oppression of his “liberated” wife. One of the crying needs in the church and the nation is for husbands to begin guiding their families, rather than devoting every physical and emotional resource into the mere acquisition of money. When the biblical ideal is the standard and as it is applied, the more she submits, the more he leads; and the more he leads, the more she submits—and the happier both are! It may well be that our very survival as a people will depend largely on the presence or absence of masculine leadership in the home. (“The society in which we live has done us a great disservice by scrambling the roles of persons in the home” (Dee Bowman, Christianity Magazine, Oct. 1988, p. 290).
5. Have husbands surrendered to preoccupation with their business, like Lot in Genesis 13–19? He “dwelt in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent even as far as Sodom.” And “the men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the Lord.” Yes, it was a good place for a business man; a good place for a farmer, but a terrible place for a family! Today, all some fathers do at home is sleep and eat there. Their main interests lie outside the home, trying to climb the career ladder, moonlighting to pay off unnecessary debts, rushing to and fro and bringing a briefcase full of work home each night. Then to lessen the stress of their hectic pace, they must leave the home again for recreation and relaxation. They have surrendered to the world; they have become overcommitted and preoccupied, and there are wives all across the country reaching for husbands who are not there; not to mention children who may suffer a lifetime with the agony of unmet needs. And—“What shall a man profit, if he supplies every material need and luxury for his child, but doesn’t take the time to communicate truth?” (Gary Ogden, FC Lectures, 1992, p. 84).
   If you haven’t surrendered yet, Mr. Husband, surrender to the Savior and learn to apply His law in every facet of life. As you do this in your marriage, somehow you’ll find that the world looks better and your difficulties seems to shrink a little! Beyond that, you have made Christ the Lord of your life.
   May the circle of your family remain unbroken when you stand before the Lord on the day of judgment.

Berkley, W. E. (1992). Have Husbands Surrendered? (D. Bowman, Ed.)Christianity Magazine, 9(8), 22.